Hi G-d, It’s me...am I A Good Jew?
As a curious Jew on a never-ending quest to understand my identity, I often find myself grappling with the burning question: Am I a good enough Jew? And since October 7th, the question echos even louder.
But, what does that even mean? What is a “good” Jew? And why is Jewish guilt always lurking in the shadows, ready to pounce on our self-worth? Or is it?
I don’t often write about the Parsha, yet this week’s portion, Behar, seems to provide insight into becoming overly attached to material things, accomplishments and titles. So, I thought now is as good a time as any to delve into these existential musings and cultivate a sense of self-compassion.
I don’t know about you, but I constantly find myself entangled in a perpetual cycle of self-judgment and resistance (not that kind of resistance). We berate ourselves for falling short of an elusive standard of what constitutes a "good" mother/wife/Jew/insert title here. However, Behar presents us with the ultimate opportunity to break free from this self-imposed pressure. It implores us to practice self-forgiveness and embrace our authentic selves, unencumbered by fears of inadequacy. Balancing work and rest allows us to reconnect with our core essence, a foundation that is inherently sufficient. I’m actively working on letting go of those fears and embracing the blessings I’ve already received.
Behar introduces the concept of Shemitah, urging the Israelites to abstain from working the land after six years of labor. Even G-d, the ultimate creator, recognized the significance of rest and proclaimed "enough is enough." This divine proclamation grants us permission to embrace moments of stillness and rejuvenation. The period of taking a sabbatical offers a precious chance for introspection, reassessing personal goals, immersing oneself in the natural world, enjoying meaningful moments with loved ones, pursuing creative interests, and fostering a profound spiritual bond with Hashem.
In our crazy world obsessed with competition and productivity, we often neglect our spiritual well-being. I know I do. We're running around like headless chickens, providing physically and emotionally but spiritually starved and exhausted, going through the motions, all while drowning in a sea of material and information abundance. Maybe it’s time to challenge this paradigm. Behar beckons us to trust that our intrinsic worth as human beings is more than enough; that it transcends external measures. That is Betachon.
Now, let's get real for a minute. In our modern world, we need to consciously carve out time for introspection and contemplation. We need to appreciate the intangible aspects of life and recognize that our worth as Jews is not contingent upon external benchmarks. It is predicated on our willingness to explore, learn, and grow. Being a “good” Jew isn't about ticking off a checklist or conforming to some rigid mold. It's about embracing our unique identities, celebrating our strengths, and acknowledging our vulnerabilities. It's about finding joy in the process and forging a deep connection with our faith, community, and ourselves.
With all of life’s recent predictable and unpredictable events, I’m learning to embrace the ebb and flow of work and rest, rediscovering my essence and navigating this journey with compassion, curiosity, and maybe even a little less Jewish Guilt.